One Bored NEET
by piruriez
Summary: What happens when a certain Lunatic Princess looks herself up on the Internet? Note that there is some mild cussing, so yeah. Please R&R and enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

One Bored NEET

**Please note that I just got bored and wanted to see how this would turn out, I was lazy during this, so have some mercy, if any.**

The sun rose on the House of Eternity, Eintei. First-time visitors would stand in awe at the sheer size of the mansion, which more than rivaled that of the Scarlet devil Mansion. Accompanying the sheer size was the splendor of the large eastern-style mansion. One would think that such a house could only belong to royalty, which isn't that far off, the mansion was hidden in The Bamboo Forest of The Lost, which was given the name for a reason, and most could only arrive at Eintei through either the rabbit youkai which lived there, or through Fujiwara no Mokou, eternal rival of the lady of the house, Kaguya Houraisan. Said lady had just pulled off an all-nighter playing WoW.

"uggh..." the princess groaned loudly, "these people really need to learn how to play if they're gonna want to pull off a raid, well, I suppose not everyone can match my skill level," Kaguya then began to walk to the room of Eirin, her guardian nurse. That is, she got up from her chair and looked at the door as if it were her mortal enemy, and faceplanted, due to her sleeping legs, onto the merciless floor. Less than 10 seconds later, a very loud "HELP ME EIRINNN!"was resounding throughout the mansion, and as if on cue, a stern-looking woman in a nurse uniform which was half red and half blue, and had constellations sewed into it, opened the door. Taking a look at the tangled mess of black hair on the floor, she let out a small sigh.

"Princess" Eirin began a mini-lecture that sounded as if it was said hundreds of times," you have to stop pulling these all-nighters off, it's almost as bad as you getting killed by that Fujiwara girl,"

"Yeah, yeah, you got any of those energy pills left?" Kaguya asked earnestly.

The pills were made especially for such occasions, they were like the power of ⑨ 5-hour energies in 1 tiny pill; Reisen practically ran on them

"yes princess, but you have to stop doing this, it's bad for your health a-""Immortal""… and I'm running out, between you and Udonge, the pills are running out quickly"

"Whatever, you can just make more, right?" Kaguya said bluntly, causing Eirin to sigh, as if she were trying to explain algebra to a certain ⑨, "It's not that simple, the necessary materials are-"

"Ok Eirin, I'll try to lay off the pills.

Besides that, the day went by uneventfully; not even the phoenix came by to kill. As a result, the Hourai NEET was bored, no, beyond bored, feeling as if her head would implode from such boredom, this feeling of boredom led to most incidents.

'Hmm' Kaguya thought to herself,' I wonder what'll happen if I look myself up on the internet…'

*NEETS are now searching, please watch warmly until done*

Kaguya soon found that the internet had an alarming amount of information on her, even containing her backstory. If it weren't for the situation, Kaguya might have yelled out "How dare they!"

"… Eirin?" Kaguya yells out nervously, and seeing as she didn't come quickly, Kaguya began to yell louder and louder, to the point where Miko would get annoyed with her.

Some 30 seconds later, the Brain of the Moon shows up "Yes princess?" Eirin responds, but upon seeing the frightened look on Kaguya's face, she then asks with urgency "What's wrong princess?!"

"the...the screen…" Kaguya said, pointing a shaking hand towards the screen. And as soon as she sees the screen, Eirin freezes as she sees plenty of information about herself and Kaguya is displayed.

"How, how, how could the outsiders know about us?" Kaguya whispered while holding her face in her hands.

"I don't know Princess, I don't know…" Eirin said, consoling herself more than comforting her princess.

Eventually, the two reached an agreement; to send Reisen, their Lunatic Rabbit of the Moon, to find the Youkai of borders, Yukari Yakumo. Upon finding the youkai, Reisen would then interrogate her to find out the reason of why the internet had information on Eintei.


	2. Chapter 2

Normally when Reisen woke up, she was used to either being subject to one of Tewi's pranks, Eirin's "medical tests", or one of Kaguya's whims which vaguely reminded her of the 5 Impossible Requests (Ex: "Go get some money from that red-white shrine maiden, I want to throw some at Mokou" or, "Go steal the Black-white's hat, I want to wear it"). Today however, was a rather odd request (order) from Eirin, to go to Mayohiga or the Hakurei Shrine to find the Gap Youkai (hag), Yukari, and to ask her about why the in-tur-net had information on Eintei.

At first, Reisen's first reaction was to wake up properly (the energy pills had a tendency to cause one to crash at the end of the day), so she was about to ask her master where said things were, but assuming that she knew, the nurse left. Figuring that if she didn't leave ASAP, Reisen would be subject to "a good ol' prank" (being bound and trapped by Tewi), she left the immediate vicinity quickly. Instead of just blindly flying around, Reisen began to weave through the bamboo stalks in the direction of the Human Village, where she regularly sold medicine made by Eirin, "hopefully I can just ask Keine for directions to the shrine" she thought to herself. However, getting distracted, as all touhou-players should know, is a big no-no, so Reisen ended up flying face first into a stalk.

"Oww…"Reisen mumbled to herself "well at least I didn't land on one of Tewi's traps that would have been-"*CRASH*"…horrible". And so Reisen began trying to climb out of the pitfall trap, only to fall flat on her tuchus. This cycle continued for about ⑨ minutes, before Reisen realized that she could fly. Besides that, the journey to the Human Village continued without incident, simply blasting a few fairies out of the sky was a near everyday occurrence for many denizens of Gensokyo.

When Reisen arrived at the village (it was still rather early, only about 7:30 AM), there were few people moving about, setting up shops and the like, but she still received a few enthusiastic waves from some of the younger (perverted) men. Somewhat innocent, the lunar bunny waved back, eliciting some happiness in their minds.

Upon reaching the school, Reisen knocked lightly on the doors, "Keine-sensei, are you there" Reisen called out softly, "yes yes, come in". Upon entering, the boo-neh saw Keine preparing for a day of "educating the little ones" as she said it." Oh, Reisen, what are you doing here? Wouldn't you normally be out selling medicine?" Keine asked curiously, for it was like seeing Patchouli jogging in the Forest of Magic (something that simply won't happen)." My master sent me on an errand to the Hakurei Shrine, could you direct me to it?" Reisen asked politely, "Sure" *head-butting teachers /were-hakutakus are now directing*. "Ok, thanks Keine-sensei!" Reisen yelled out as she flew off in the direction of the Hakurei Shrine, "No problem!" Keine yelled back just as children began to enter the building, ' Time to get started 'Keine thought to herself as she entered behind the last child, closing the doors with a loud THUMP.


	3. Chapter 3

I've been told that my chapters were a bit short, but that's a good piece advice, so thanks to lily (no sarcasm) and from now on, I'ma try to get these things longer. And sorry for the wall of texts, forgot about the paragraphs.

Reisen set off towards the Hakurei Shrine, which was quite a ways off from the Human Village 'Perhaps this is why no one ever donates' Reisen thought to herself as she flew at a leisurely pace. But as she drew nearer to the shrine, the number of fairies and other lower youkai began to increase, as well as their strength.

At first the swarms could only fire off a measly 2 or 3 bullets, but as Reisen approached the shrine, it eventually got to the point where the swarms could give Rumia a run for her money. Of course this meant nearly nothing to Reisen who's participated in her fair share of danmaku battles, but to the human traveler, it brought forth why danmaku was called just that: bullet hell.

"You fairies never learn, do you!" Reisen yelled, annoyed after dispatching the 27th group, only to find another flying towards her. "Why me, why couldn't Master send Tewi or a group of the Earth rabbits? Well I've had enough of this! Wave Sign "Min-""Dream Sign*yawn* "Evil Sealing Circle" (a collective Pichu~n is heard)."My, what's the Red Eyes of Madness doing out here by my shrine "an incredibly bored voice droned "Did you come to donate?" an anime sparkle appeared in Reimu's eyes as she and Reisen gently floated down onto the shrine grounds.

" Master Eirin sent me to look for the Gap Youkai (hag) Yukari." Reisen stated proudly, for while it was a nuisance, she still felt nice that master had sent her to do something important." Is that so?" Reimu asked*off in the distance, Rumia sneezes*,"well, you're lucky, I think I know where she is, I'd be happy tell you, if only something could, y'know, refresh my memory" Reimu begins rubbing her fingers together, with a sly grin on her face. "Ok, here" Reisen sighs, handing the shrine maiden/hax master a 50 yen mark (sorry, but I don't know Japanese currency very well). Taking the money in a flash (even Aya would have competition), Reimu points towards the Shrine, "she's in there, fighting with the freeloader, but don't interrupt, otherwise you'll have a pair of strong opposites (gap hag+ loli oni= more effective than pb&j) fighting you, and I'm not pulling 'em off you".

And so, the Lunar bunny walked into the shrine, and upon entering the smell of alcohol was more than present: it dominated. When walking out onto the shrine's patio, she could see her target, Yukari Yakumo, albeit a little drunk and having an argument with the shrine's resident loli oni."I'm tellin' ya, gap*hic* hag! People would*hic* pay good money to *hic* see Kanako and Suwako *hic* mud wrestling*hic*!""B*tch please! Sanae and Reimu are where the money's at!" "err… excuse me?" Reisen asked timidly amongst the fighting, but her voice fell on deaf ears. "Besides, we all know you just want to see another person with a chest as flat as yours! At least my Reimu has some degree of breasts, even if they are a bit-"" Care to finish that sentence?" Reimu said right next to Yukari's ear, earning a stare of disbelief from Reisen, who hadn't seen her exit the shrine at all."Eh-heh, funny thing about that I was just" Yukari was desperately trying to avoid being yin-yanged into oblivion"" Save it, besides, you have a guest." Reimu pointed towards the bunny, then Suika "And as for you! How many times have I told you not to start giving out sake to anyone who comes to the shrine?!" Suika did her best to feign fear in her drunken state, but ended up screwing herself by saying "Oh no! My rival in fla-"*PICHU~N* "Anyways, carry on now." Reimu said calmly as she walked into the shrine.

"Oh, I see the boo-neh of Eintei has come for a visit. What do you want child?" Yukari asked Reisen, motioning for her to sit down. "My master has sent me to ask you a question." Reisen said firmly, trying to keep herself composed over the stench of alcohol. "And what would that question be, darling?"" Something about the in-tur-net and why it has a surplus of information on Eintei." Reisen said gravely, for even if she didn't know what the internet was, she could tell that if it had a lot of information on Eintei, it had to be bad. "Oh, that silly little thing? " Yukari asked, amused by the question "well, it all began a short while ago, less than a dozen years ago I believe…"

**If you can guess what the next chapter's about, you get a free internet cookie**


	4. Chapter 4

**Mmk, the previous chapters have been fixed, even though all I did was press enter and space a couple of times, sooo yeah… anyways, sorry for the delay, reviews=motivation, so any review is helpful, be it good or bad, they all tell me how to make the story better.**

"Anyways" Yukari said," like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted *cough*crappy writer*cough*. (*pokes the fourth wall* It's good, right?) This thing with the internet started a while ago, I was wandering around the Outside World and I saw a scrawny little man rushing towards somewhere. Intrigued (bored), I followed (stalked) him towards a meeting of a group who called themselves 'Amusement' something. Anyways, the group was stumped on ideas for new games, and at the end of the meeting, the group blamed the scrawny man and his tardiness (1 minute!) and chased him away, telling him not to come back unless he had a great new idea for a game.".

' So cruel, yet it reminds me of the Princess kicking me out of Eintei whenever I forget to bring her all ⑨ of her daily snacks' Reisen thought to herself. "Hey, back over here- you had a distant look in your eyes" Yukari poked Reisen's nose roughly "So, I followed (stalked) him back to his home, where he drank continuously until I wondered if he was an Oni in disguise. Anyways, once he thought of his job again he started crying, so I thought 'Why not show him Gensokyo?' Anyways, I politely asked him if he would like to go, and he said yes (gapped him into Gensokyo randomly)."

"And lo and behold- when we arrived, the Hakurei shrine was destroyed, and little Reimu was setting off to investigate. So we followed her from a safe distance so as to not get hit by the Ying- Yang orb, which I'm sure would be fatal to a human, saw her beat up more than her fair share of youkai. Eventually, she got her shrine fixed and I took the man back to his house (gapped him out in the middle of a road).He made the whole incident into a game, and presented to his group, which made quite a bit of profit from it."

" Soon, I thought better of it, as it could potentially have been harmful to the border, so I gave him Oni sake, instead of outright killing him, which it should have done, it just made him highly immune to beer, and since I was surprised by the outcome. I let him live and introduced myself to him as the one who took him into Gensokyo. We developed a deal, I would show him an incident, which would lead to him creating a game, and he would give me some of his profits (80-20, 80 being for the gaphaxer)."

" Eventually he split from his old group and made his own, with a name that reminds me of China (off in the distance, while Marisa's breaking into the SDM , the gate guard yells in her sleep "It's Meiling!"), continuing making the incidents into games, including the new spellcard system, which surprised me. His games gained fame and grew immensely popular on the internet, and that is how the Outsiders know of Gensokyo, even though they simply believe it's a make-believe place." Yukari finished, leaving the Lunar bunny to absorb the information on her own while she went to talk to (annoy) Reimu.

"so there's no real danger after all," Reisen said to herself," well that's good, one less thing to worry about " "Ahem," a loud and boisterous voice said " what's this in-teer-net thing you're talking about? "a relatively tall woman landed down in front of Reisen, broomstick in her hand, she looked to be relatively young, as there seemed to be an infinite amount of confidence in her eyes, which hung under her messy blonde hair, reaching down to the shoulders of her black-white which outfit, whose apron was home to her evil hakkero, explosive bottles, many, many .many mushrooms, among other things, and was none other than Gensokyo's very own Marisa Kirisame.

"So you gonna tell me or you gonna stand there like a ⑨?" Marisa asked, already showing signs of impatience. "These matters are those of the residents of Eintei and them alone!" Reisen yelled nervously, beginning to fly away." Normally," Marisa said while hiding an evil smile," I would say shoot and I'll move, but, this time, it'll be move and I'll shoot, mmk?" Reisen froze in place, deciding how to face the problem, she eventually decided to pull a Cirno, hit and run. Turning around slowly, Reisen suddenly yelled" Lunar Eyes: 'Tele-mesmerism!'" however, Marisa was expecting an attack and yelled out "Love Sign: 'Master Spark!'". The beam of love quickly absorbing the many bullets and downing the Lunar bunny. "So, like I said, what's this in-teer-net thing about?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the delay, but anyways, Blunt Marisa is Blunt. I'm wondering if I portrayed her right, well, if anything, reviews are greatly appreciated. Onto da story!**

"No""Now""No""Now"No""Now".This argument, which could hardly be considered as such, between the Klepto-witch and Lunar bunny kept going( and had been going for a good 30 minutes), or could have kept going, had Reimu not have come to interfere, "BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" the red-white miko yelled as loud as she could (it was heard throughout Gensokyo), causing both to cradle their ears in pain. "Now Marisa, the NEET simply looked herself up on her computer and found out that the outsiders know about us, and Reisen, just leave, I already have enough annoyances, go before you're treated as one." That was more than enough warning for Reisen who sped away immediately after.

"So the outsiders know about us?" Marisa asked nervously, "you mean you never noticed Yukari following us around during an incident? " Reimu asked "Oh yeah huh, well, it's about time to be hittin' the old dusty trail" Marisa said as casually as she could, beginning to mount her broom. . "Oh, no" Reimu said, pulling out her gohei, "let me 'persuade' you to be nicer to those who donate, hmm?" So for about an hour, Marisa was being "persuaded" (stabbed) by Reimu, who with her needles of "persuasion" taught Marisa how to be polite.

*Lunar rabbits are now returning home, please watch warmly until done*

"Master?" Reisen called out among the empty halls of Eintei. Normally filled with rabbits and traps alike, the halls were empty, unusually so, Reisen didn't even run into one of Tewi's traps. However, when she slid open the door to Kaguya's room, she found out why. Everyone in Eintei was crammed into Kaguya's room, more specifically around the computer screen. But as soon as she went in, she heard a yell, "FOR THE LAST TIME JOANNA," a nearly enraged Eirin was yelling, "YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG TO BE ON THERE!" A small rabbit runs out of the room, crying, "Master, why are you being so harsh today?" Reisen asks, surprised by the absence of Eirin's usual calm demeanor. "That girl," Eirin says as she takes in a deep breath" does not understand the concept of something not happening, and will annoy and annoy until someone breaks and yells at her. But that's her, did you find out the reason of the internet, Udonge?"" Yes Master. It seems that the internet thing was basically Yukari selling incidents to an outsider so he could make them into games." Reisen responded dutifully, earning quite a few snickers from Tewi and co, whose idea of respect is a bit off. "I see, well, I suppose it makes sense," Eirin mutters to herself." What's that Eirin?" Kaguya said over the low roar of voices. "Oh nothing Princess," Eirin said 'So if she introduces us to Outsiders, then a fear will be placed in them, and since youkai thrive on fear, we can only benefit from it' Eirin thought to herself. "Well, no matter" she said to herself "Udonge!"" Yes Master!"" How many know about this?"" Not even the Black-White Witch knew, so I'd say that only those that are close to the Gap Youkai (Hag)". "Then with our discovery, I'd say that that Tengu would be interfering soon." Eirin said with a sigh," Inaba! "she yelled out, "Yes?" a small girl wearing a small pink dress and carrot necklace said, climbing out of the crowd of rabbit youkai as she did so." You are to set up traps, along with the other rabbits, along the perimeter of Eintei, in the halls BESIDES those meant for Udonge, and stay on guard around the skies of the Bamboo Forest" Eirin listed the things for the girl, otherwise known as Tewi, to do, while she nodded like a bored teenager, " yeah, sure thing boss." Tewi said as she took in a deep breath. Recognizing what she was about to do, Reisen hastily covered her ears, but not before Tewi yelled at the top of her lungs "EVERYONE, WE'RE CATCHIN' A CROW, NOW LET'S GO!" However, Reisen was not prepared for the sudden rush of rabbits, and was mercilessly crushed underneath them as they stampeded out of Kaguya's room. "Oww…" Reisen whimpered as the last rabbit stepped over her. "This is why one flies Udonge" Eirin said, obviously annoyed at her assistant's lack of quick thinking. "What does Tewi eat?!" Reisen said as she got back up. "I feed her at least 80 carrots everyday" Kaguya chimed, "But I give her 60 a day…" Eirin said, concerned about the earthly bunny "and she gets me to smuggle her at least ⑨0 carrots a day" Reisen said. "Hmm…" the three of them said as they thought about the bunny's eating tendencies (which, for size, rivaled those of Mystia's hunter).


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for not posting for a while, my teachers decided to give everyone a bunch of projects at the same, no use in complaining though, onto the story!**

"Ayaya" a slender, winged girl with short black hair said to herself, clutching a plain satchel at her side. Peering through the bamboo stalks that surround her, she sighs happily "Oh well, they aren't fast enough for Gensokyo's fastest!" the girl, feared throughout Gensokyo though her camera, sped past all the traps Tewi and her rabbits had set in all of an instant.

"The early crow finds the shiny things first!" the girl, Aya, said, leaving what appeared to be a small bundle of paper at the entrance of Eintei, before zooming off into the thick foliage of the Bamboo Forest of the Lost.

"UDONGE!" was the first thing everyone in Eintei heard in the morning as an enraged Eirin nearly destroyed simply to get to Reisen's room.

Bulldozing the door through right as Reisen was about to open it, the end result was Eirin falling on Reisen, which of course led to an awkward moment between the two. Quickly regaining her composure, Reisen spoke first "What is it Master *yawn* it's a bit early to be yelling isn't it?" "THIS, THIS IS THE MATTER" Eirin snarled as she threw a small bundle of papers at Reisen.

Hakurei Shrine Conspiracy?!

Ace reporter, Aya Shameimaru, recently interviewed a witness of a possible conspiracy headed by none other than the notorious youkai of the gaps, Yakumo Yukari. "Turns out that she's been making a huge profit of the incidents, ze" the witness, who will remain anonymous, said "she sells the ideas of the incidents to an Outsider, who then makes the incidents into games, and then gets money from this guy for giving her the basis, ze. It's actually an efficient process"

Upon asking the Hakurei shrine maiden, the Bunbunmaru's ace reporter was given a simple "There's no danger at all, I'd make sure Yukari wouldn't do anything stupid like that." But could Yukari simply be giving Reimu money to keep her quiet? "Considering her donations, it would make sense "a bystander, Alice Margatroid said. Could the safe haven of Gensokyo have been breached due to a greedy youkai's ploy? Aya Shameimaru, signing off.

After reading the article over several times, Reisen sighed, realizing that while they kept Aya out of Eintei, they didn't keep her from Marisa. "You're lucky that damned crow didn't mention Eintei in this," Eirin sighed as she rubbed her temples in an attempt to calm herself. "It's ok Master," Reisen said consolingly " Even if she did, Tewi would prove more than enough for most people who would want to find out more, right?"" I suppose so," Eirin said before straightening her back; however the two would be proven wrong by a very loud "HELP ME EIRIN!" resounding through Eintei.

The two Lunarians ran quickly to Kaguya's room, and on the way, once again, the clamor of a crowd was heard from its direction "This can get me donations!"" Bitch, get out of the way, I want to look myself up, ze!"" Sakuya, if you would" "Of course mistress, ZA WARUDO!"*PICHU~N!*

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Eirin roared as she opened the door, "Now, why are you all here!" she asked upon seeing the swarm of Gensokyo's more powerful residents swarming over the computer, Kaguya desperately trying to hide from the swarm of youkai and humans.

"The thing is…" a young blonde said as she pulled herself out of the crowd "pretty much all of Gensokyo got the news this morning, so the majority of us went to the Hakurei shrine to find out more-"" and I explained that it was simply Reisen who asked about it-"Reimu said, "Then Aya popped up and told us that Kaguya had a fancy com-puh-tah that can access the in-tur-net, ze!" Marisa chimed in." So, the majority of us who had come here during the Hidden Moon incident came, along with a few others, as you can see" the blonde, known by many as Alice, said.

"I see," Eirin said, thoughtfully, before resuming yelling "BUT that does not excuse you all from nearing mauling Kaguya!" The scene overall looked like a teacher scolding a group of students for wanting to play with one student's new toy. "Umm Master, if I may?" Reisen asked, still behind the murdered door, "Can't everyone just get in a line, or come back tomorrow?"That's right," Alice said " Finally, someone with common sense, now come on Marisa, you still have to show me that new Spark you were talking about" " But-""NOW" Alice said forcefully while dragging Marisa out by the ear "Oww! Alice!" Marisa whined as she struggled to keep up "Not in front of Reimu, ze..." the two could still be heard arguing in the distance as they walked off. " I'd better go make sure Alice doesn't end up killing her, see ya" Reimu said as casually as she could, masking her disappointment and embarrassment. So slowly and loudly, the crowd of people dispersed out of Kaguya's room, all except for a certain ⑨ and her green haired friend. "But I want to look myself up!" Cirno whined and pouted "But Cirno!" the green haired fairy said "Everyone else left, and besides, this place is creepy when we're all alone…"" But Eye'm da Strongest!" "Perhaps you'd like to assist in a experiment?" Eirin said in such a sadistic tone that even Yuuka would be proud. "Nope, Bye!" Cirno yelled as she ran away, dragging her friend along as she sped away as fast as she could. "'Tis a shame, one can only do so much with Reisen," Eirin said disappointedly," and I haven't even filled my quota for the day…""Master! You said you'd stop doing that!" Reisen yelled. "Oh yeaah…"


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter is not to be taken seriously, you have been warned.**

About a week after Aya had published the article and Eintei was invaded, Kaguya was tossing and turning in her luxury futon. 'Why hasn't she been coming lately?' the Lunarian princess thought to herself 'I actually almost miss her… well, I'll look **her** up and see what pops up.' Getting up and walking to the computer, she opened up a browser and typed in Fujiwara no Mokou 'I know, I'll include myself in the search and maybe I'll find pictures of me killing her! 'Kaguya thought to herself as she also entered Kaguya Houraisan.

*NEETs are now searching, please wait warmly until it's done*

"Ah, here we are" Kaguya said to herself as she scrolled down the images slowly, examining many with great detail. She was amused at seeing how the Outsiders portrayed herself and Mokou, completely unaware of a rugged girl slowly and silently creeping up behind her, arms raised above her long light violet hair, at least until her eyes came upon a certain picture (since it's rated K+, details will not be included), upon which she began screaming " MY EYES!THEY'RE BURNING!"

This in turn then caused the violet haired girl to fall back onto her tuchus out of shock. Kaguya then began rolling on the floor while clutching her head, screaming nonstop with such a volume that she woke up the majority of the Human Village.

Almost immediately after the girl fell, Eirin, Reisen, and Tewi burst into the room, hurriedly prepared for battle. Spotting the violet haired girl, Eirin yelled out "Mokou! What have you done to her?!""What?" the girl, Mokou, asked "I didn't do anything, well, yet that is," she added sheepishly.

"Then how do you explain that?!" Eirin said as she pointed her arrow towards Kaguya, "Eirin!HELP ME!" Kaguya screeched as she kept rolling. "I don't know!" Mokou said as she put her hands up, as if that would help her case, "I was about to whack 'er in the head when she started ta wake up half of Gensokyo!"

"Can ya get her ta shut up!?" Tewi shouted over Kaguya's cries "her yellin's torture to all of us rabbits!" And indeed it was as Tewi and Reisen, along with all the other rabbits were covering their ears in pain.

"What is it Princess!?" Eirin cried out earnestly as she attempted to hold Kaguya still, slowly succeeding as she brought Kaguya to a soft whimper. Cradled in Eirin's arms, Kaguya softly whispered out "The screen… the screen…" Instead of leaving Kaguya on the floor and running the risk of her going wild again, Eirin had sent Mokou to see what was on the screen. "Now let's see what got this damned NEET like this…" Mokou muttered to herself as she walked over to the screen, nervously looking at Kaguya every second or two.

"Err… "Mokou said as she suddenly grew nervous, fear growing inside as she realized that what she was about to see had broken her eternal rival in a matter of seconds. "Are ya gonna do it or not?" Tewi yawned, "Yes, just give me a minute!" Mokou barked back.

"Ok," Mokou said to herself "On the count of three, I'll look up. One" Mokou shook herself. "Two" she lifted her head to look at the screen but kept her eyes closed. "THREE!" Tewi yelled out loud, causing Mokou to open her eyes to bask in the artificial light created by the screen, the minds of the infamous Outsiders being revealed to her.

That is, until she passed out almost immediately after seeing the screen. "Oh Gods" Eirin muttered to herself, "What is so frightening about this thing? Udonge! "Yes master!" Reisen called out dutifully "Hold the Princess while I see what's so horrible about that thing that the Princess is so obsessed with. I'll be right back, ok Kaguya?" Eirin cooed as gently as she could, stroking Kaguya's hair gently as she lifted her and placed her in Reisen's arms.

Eirin dusted herself off as she got up and began to move to the computer, still giving off its gentle light. Moving Mokou's body to the side, Eirin looked at the screen, taking in the details of what it beheld before suppressing the urge to throw up. "Master, are you ok?!" Reisen called out" Tewi go help her!"

"Ok, just don't get your panties in a twist" Tewi said as she walked over to help Eirin. "Now, now" Tewi said as she supported Eirin, helping her sit down onto the chair next to the computer "You're stronger than this, I doubt that a picture could reduce you to this, now, lessee what's gotten everybody like dis" Tewi said as she left Eirin to look at the screen. "WOW" Tewi said in disbelief for a long period of time, "All of that just because of this? Ridiculous! Bah, I'm leaving!" Tewi nearly shouted in annoyance as she left, leaving Reisen alone with the Immortals.


	8. Chapter 8

Mokou awoke to the rough sensation of being kicked in the face several times over. "Mokou! Wake up! "She heard a soft voice calling out to her gently, unlike the foot which persisted in its merciless assault on her face.

"What do you want?!" Mokou cried out, more in annoyance than pain. "I need you to try to stir Master Eirin," the voice said, opening her eyes, Mokou saw Reisen doing her best to subdue Kaguya, who even in her sleep, wanted to give Mokou hell. Looking around, she also saw Eirin in the computer chair, clutching her stomach tightly and shuddering once every few seconds.

"If it'll get me further away from this damned NEET, then I'll do it," Mokou grumbled as she rose and walked over to where Eirin was sitting, rubbing her face all the way. "Wait," she paused, "What was I even doing here? Oh, yeah, I was gonna try ta Keel the NEET but, then _that_ happened, ugh, at least I know not to go close to that thing again" Mokou said as she walked up to Eirin.

"Yo doc, you ok? " Mokou said as she prodded Eirin roughly several times, "I know that it's horrible to look at but come on, I took it, and so you can too." Eirin just sat in the chair for half a minute before slowly picking herself up, straightening her back and dusting off her multicolored dress.

"Thank you Mokou, I suppose it would be more traumatizing for you than it would be for me," Eirin said as she made her way to Kaguya, who had stopped kicking after Mokou had left her immediate vicinity. " Don't worry about it, let's just have someone else take that damned thing off that NEET thing," Mokou said as she put her hands behind her head and glanced occasionally at the computer screen, which seemed to be a bit sadistic and refused to dim its display, even after about half an hour had passed.

"Kaguya…" Eirin gently called out as she shook Kaguya lightly, "Come now it's time to wake up," Eirin continued, but to no avail as the shaking only lulled Kaguya into a deeper trance, seeing as the Hourai NEET began to snore. "Hold on," Mokou said, rolling up her sleeves "I got this" "Wait," Eirin said as she got between Kaguya and Mokou, something few should ever do, "Will this harm the Princess in any way or form? If it will, I will stop you," Eirin said as she nocked an arrow to her bow.

"Do 'er ears count?" Mokou asked casually, as if Eirin posed no threat whatsoever to her. "Not really, no "Eirin said with a bemused look on her face. "Then stand aside," Mokou said as she lowered herself down to Kaguya's altitude, which then caused Kaguya to become restless, swinging her arms around sleepily as if she were attempting to attack Mokou in her sleep.

Putting her mouth next to Kaguya's ear, Mokou shouted with a volume that rivaled that of the NEET herself "GET OFF YOUR NEET ASS!". The sound of fist meeting face followed soon after, "I was trying to sleep you damned birdbrain," Kaguya said as she rubbed her fist.

"And I WAS TRYING TO HELP, YOU DAMNED NEET!" Mokou yelled back her she rubbed her face, the red mark left behind by Kaguya's fist standing out against Mokou's light skin. "IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO COME UP WITH ANYTHING ELSE!" Kaguya screamed as she got up and advanced towards Mokou.

"Ladies, please, if you're going to fight, please take it outside." Eirin said calmly to the angered Immortals as she led them out to the hallway, and in a stereotypical scene, the two made their way out of Eintei while fighting in a cloud of dust. Off in the distance, Tewi's voice could be heard.

"Place your bets here! Odds for Mokou are 2:1!" many other voices soon became audible, saying things such as "Whoo! Catfight!"" I'll make a fortune off of Mokou!"" Please, Kaguya's rainbow danmaku gives everyone trouble!"

Eventually, after the Immortals ceased killing each other (it ended up with Keine and Eirin pulling away their respective child), there was a huge crowd around Tewi, who clutched the betting box closely, "Sorry, it was a draw! NO REFUNDS!" Tewi said as she began to run away into the Bamboo Forest of the Lost, soon followed by a huge crowd of humans and youkai alike.

And so, another day in Eintei passed, with Tewi getting a small fortune from bets, Keine and Eirin building up some arm muscle from dragging the Immortals, and Reisen being knocked out by Kaguya and forgotten by everyone else.


End file.
